New Years?

Bring it.

love for odd years.

2008...

fucking peace.

You're not looking yourself today

I can tell in the way that your hands shake


come to mama.


Winter Wishlist

V-necks
A pair of tom's
A carton of newport 100's
A good New Years date
To see my best friends.

Let me sleep on it

Baby baby let me sleep on it
i'll give you an answer in the morning.

basically
i found a boy who could rival auntie jane.
fits all of my wants in a boy
and has some i didn't even know i wanted.
and fucking FATE
i ran into him today.
and i looked smoking


and basically today was good.

Oh, I know

It's now or never..



mhm.
step on it please.

i've got a little bit of love and a little bit of that
and it's all i have to give.

Be still my heart

This could be a brand new start
And it will be clear
If I wake up and you're still here.
In the morning.



blah blah.
bffs maybe not.

expectations lower, please.

chances higher.

let me sleep in please?

I got so sick and tired of you trying to look better

We look so beautiful when were both naked
We make the perfect team to spend our days wasted


blahblahblah

ali comes home in 3 hours <3333
welcome home party with kari

liz and brooks at some point.

best friends weekend.

If you can't fly

Than neither will i.

jotting down things for this playlist as i think of them

Four Year Strong - Bada Bing with a pipe
Set your Goals- Goonies never say die

A rocket to the moon - oh dakota
Brighten - we are birds

add any crucial ones i need :]

I am vindicated

I am selfish, I am wrong.

If we survive, get out alive

I’d like to say how beautiful I think you are.


maybe i over think it.

maybe i should smile a little more.

i think i will.

Go! Go! Go!

You never had the time because you move too slow.


Everything will not work out in the end.
but i hope i don't ruin this one like everyother one.

also i wish people didn't have bffcockblocks.
and i wish i could find my phone... again...

goddamn

also
i wish bffm didn't have gross friends who claim her too quickly so i never seee herrrrrrrr
and i'm glad for horrible tv.
oprah, here i come.

been in this game since 92

look at all the bullshit i've been through

so called beef with you know who.


no-to-ri-ous.


this weeeeek

monday - business challenge meeting. Women's ensemble practice.
tuesday - prob young demz meeeting
wednesday - bff burrito day, setters at sq 1 with elbow.
thursday - eeeeeeek possible bff mken day?
friday - sound of music with joey chubb
saturday - massage dayyyyy, iceskaterz with the boy.

No one knows you like I do

They don't see you like I do, Baby.


ice skating <3

i love getting hit on by douchebags, yes.
hahahahah

bffme day is long overdue
possibly a double date next weekend?
i would hope.

It's the way you do the things you do

That make me fall in love with you.



I'm condescending
I'm a bitch
I'm brutally honest, no matter what
and most of all
I'm not changing for anyone.

I like boys with strong convictions

And Convicts with perfect diction


and basically i love my life.


dmb is going down.
gotta have a little drama.

And when you wake up, everything's gonna be fine

I guarantee that you'll wake in a better place,
In a better time


blah blah

life could be worse

no one's home this weekend
hot tubbing with diana tomorrow night
possibly a date with auntie jane before hand.
you know, all of the above work for me.

text me for plans. word.

Can you take me back to the person i used to be?

when you were there for me.
I know it seems like forever
but do me this favor please.


my best friends came to pick me up from school today
cute surprise
then liz gave me her closet.
hahaha pretty awesome
i'm going to go shower
then tonight's schedule looks like so:
4-5 finding canned goods with hannah
5-6:30 watching sound of music with Joe
6:30-7 getting ready
7-9:30 halloween dance with diana and joe joe.

can i kick it?

yes you can.


other than my recent obsession with with tribe called quest
hung out with mcmanaway today.
we talked about good stuff, it was nice
she told me i'd be perfect with a generally short person
whose face is so good i could deal with him being the same height as me.
so hopefully thanksgiving will make that happen.
i hear poolhouse?

going to see BRIGHTEN TONIGHTTTTTTTT
<33333333333
i can't believe i missed them last week


yay second chances
with cute boys.
and my best friendddddddddddddddddddd

yayayyayayayayayayay

i can smell your breath
and it smells like money

and i will dwell in the house of the lord

forever.


not like i'm crazy religious, but i love that song so much
we sang it frosh year, and now listening to it again i remember why it struck me as so good
it has nothing about COME TO OUR CHURCH OR GO TO HELL
the lord is my shepherd.

and maybe i have god or just good luck
but despite some downsies
my life is pretty awesome.

patience is a virtue but i'm not very virtuous
but maybe i can deal.
also a good jumping would speed things along.

I'm a little upset that maya seems to be the only person in my life not lying to me
but i think the last 4 years have made me so used to it, that it only bothers me slightly
also
i wish i could stop relating my life to songs, it's obnoxious.

bcreeps creeps me out a lot
i mean, really singing hey baby to me?
when i'm with my friends?
when you would break my scale?
and you're like 12 years old
albeit you have pretty eyes.
but that doesn't even close to make up for your bad grammar


my favorite teacher thinks i hate him
maybe i'm a condescending bitch? who knows.
that's what i've heard

speaking of things i'm good at
choir concert tonight at 7:30
be thurrrrrr

and i'll finish it with my new obsession song

The Secret Handshake - Coastal Cities

This is easy as lovers go

So don't complicate it by hesitating.



the past 3 years and especially last 3 weeks are all leading up to one day
fuck my life if this isn't goood.

v is for victory.

Is that what you call tact?

you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back

so let's end this call and end this conversation.


I'm glad you know how to make a bad situation worse.
I'm glad you haven't forgotten your old talents that you told me you had changed
I'm glad i broke my promise to myself, about never letting you into my life again.
I'm glad you know how to ruin everything i enjoy, really.
I've never been happier to call you my best friend.

I'm dressed all in blue

And remembering you.



Rhett Miller- Come Around
Old 97's -
Morningwood - Hold on to hope
Jareem Kay - Have It All
Buzzocks - Ever Fallen in love with someone

If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky

I live to let you shine.



dearfamfamfamfamfam

i love you lucky seven.
i miss you more than summer
and i miss summer a whole fucking lot.

it was nice to see you all if only for a few minutes.
and even if we couldn't see tay's face :/

haha
so yeah.
you're offic my brat pack.
and i'll see you all in the spring!!!!!

If you need directions

I'll be your guide.
For all time.




Today was good
yesterday was decent
hopefully it keeps getting better.


i miss the fam


i love my two options.
and i also love how maya will be the only one to understand that.

everyone's caught onto everything you do.

Dear "friends"

I'm not sure if it's just Hershey or maybe there's a huge backstabbing disease running wild around the country, But the last time i checked, talking shit on someone to their friends when they're not there to say a word in their own defense is called backstabbing, and i'm pretty sure it used to be classified as the worst thing you could do to your friends. The worst part is that you think it's okay to just make snide comments about people you say you care about. that's not how real relationships work, sorry, welcome to the real world.

You think I'm a bad influence? tell me to my face, please. alright, maybe i've had a not so perfect record, maybe i make a few bad decisions, but 1. you don't even know me well enough to judge those decisions and 2. I'm absolutely sure you've never seen me pressure anyone to do anything, because i've never done it.

I'm not asking to be a role model, and It's high school, my friends aren't looking up to me as a role model, so i seriously have no clue why you're so worried about it. she's a big girl, she can make her own decisions, and i'm not pressuring my life style onto her, in fact i wouldn't recommend it to anyone i care about, but this is how i deal with things in my past.

you think she shouldn't be friends with me because i'm a bad person?
how about you stop pretending to be my friends too.

Thanks.

If it makes you less sad

I will die by your hand




OBAMA FEVER!

possibly meeting michelle obama face to face tomorrow
if i can weasel my way out of this marching band phillies game shit.

then on saturday going to a black tie event with barak, michelle, and biden
to name a few.
free of charge, wow.


oh my god.
i am SIKED

our fists in the air

fighting the good fight.



only being able to see my best friends on sundays is the worst feeling in the entire world.

i love them more than anything


i like the kids at my new school.
i have a bunch of really good friends.

but honestly nothing can replace my brat pack.



ALSO my hc date decides to have his sister's wedding on the same day
and is driving back from jersey
aka probs missing pictures and dinner
which is the whole point of having a date

anyway.

i would rather be going 190 on back roads
then being with someone bitching about going 15 over.
i am extremely competitive.



kiss mine.

lose another day here, lose another week here

Doesn't matter, I'm with you.



thumbs up.

now it's done

watch it go.



stressstressstressstress.
fuckfuckfuckfuck.


so yeah.
bff maya.
pumpers etc.
make my life okay.
super thanks.

If I die before I wake

At least in heaven i can skate




oh? so we're deciding to go downhill now are we?

i'm really stressed
and i wish boys could act like boys
and keep their fucking mouths shut.
i think that's one of my biggest pet peeves.
boys who gossip.


like
honestly, shut up.

Tonight will be the night that i will fall for you

over again.






DEAR TAYLOR
ERIKA= HAPPY


i don't have to send you that whole list
i've narrowed it down to one lucky winner.

<3333333333333
but i expect your letter quite soon.

Step by step. ooh baby

gotta get to you girrrrlll




so AKEN = <3

ahahah
so
plan is in progress.
this will happen.




also akenmw is the best fieldtrip group ever.


yes. :]

so many nights spent with you in the beginning

It takes a while getting used to having nothing




i don't think you understand how much i miss my best friend
i mean, i saw her saturday.
but really.
i'm so used to seeing her in between every class
THIS FUCKING SUCKS

With balled up fists

Take steady aim.









Last officially night of summer
tomorrow night i get to "get to bed early"
and then "wake up and go to school"
and fuck
i start at hershey monday.
i'm a little freaked.


tonight was awesome
i missed my bffs sooooo much
but it was great seeing them
it feels horrible to know i'll never see them at school again.
never write
"I can do whatever I want, I'm Spiderman"
on the inside of lockers
never leave eachother peanut butter banana sandwiches as presents
never completely ignore the teachers together.
never pass my classes with 65s and 100s on the final
fuck
i officially have to work the hardest i ever have.
but there are some perks.
so ehhhhhhhhhh
word.


and now i'm going to bed.

WOOOOH

This is where we both get scared

And this is where emotions flare.




YOU WOULD, DAN.


mwhahahaha i winnnnnnnnnnnnnn :]




so it's 1:20ish
and i have to be at the school at 8:30
plus shower.
plus WHATEVER
goddamn
i love sleep
i want chinese food
i'm rambling.
goodnight.

Faithless is he who says fairwell when the road darkens

Rather let me fail, than never to have tried at all.
Come what may, nothing short of death will see me cry defeat.

Rule every moment. Seize every day.
By storm. By the throat. With every breath I take.

It's not what you can not do, it's what they told you, you can not do;
so, fire your gun into the mouth of doubt.

Let the masses dictate themselves.
I am not now theirs, nor will I ever be.
They wont crush my hopes.
They cannot smash my dreams.

I am not inspired by men without faith.
I am not deterred by events that cause the average man to break.

Rule every moment. Seize every day.

she screams she screams my name at night

she's oh so sexual.




and a completely different topic.

these are the parts of my body where i have surface bruising
my knees
my thighs [some left over from drumline]
my hips
my entire pelvis.
my stomach
my ribs
my elbows
my entire upper arms/shoulders

these are where i have internal bruising
my ribs [front and back]
my neck
my spine
my shoulders

i feel like i'm drowning when i breathe
due to spinal trauma

i'm nauseas 24/7
and i have migraine type headaches constantly

i was shot in the hand with a bbgun,
so i can't feel the last 3 fingers on my dominant hand.

this sucks ass

dear slip-n-slide fuck you
dear rocks under slip-n-slide fuck you even more
dear erika who thinks really big dives make slip-n-slides more awesome. motherfucking fuck you.

this week is going to fucking suck.
:D

Drop the girl

She'd sink lower than a body in the Hudson could ever do.



What really grinds my gears:
-When people try to look seductive in pictures. mostly 11-17 year old girls
-When people re-upload pictures instead of going into their profile picture folder and hitting "make default"
-When people walk away from their computer in the middle of the conversation
-Useless half-socks.
-Karma
-Not being able to figure out who people remind me of.
-"hey" "hey" "whats up?" "oh nothing, you?" "nothing"
-bitches
-ho's
-bitches and ho's
-when schools don't have habitat for humanity because "not enough people sign up"
-when people that i thought i knew the best are assholes.

It's King Vs. Queen

Which side are you taking?




In all this chaos we found safety.

it's 10:30 pm.

and i'm tired as shit.
i'm going to go memorize the rest of my music and sleep

shopping tomorrow at 9 am!?!?
yeahhhhhhhhh

ayesha and clairrreee

WOOH!

then show with maya.
back here for the night
target with sarena and then her birthday party <3


The 70's called... they want their lamp back.

wanna be a baller, shot caller

Twenty inch blades on the Impala




so yeah
i'm in a rambling mood


all the McLovins at my new school
are really fucking bold with their hitting on me.
it's unsettling

i'm a lurker, i pretty much know everything about everyone at my new school already
props to Maya for all that info in such a short time

speaking of

JIGGER SHOP TOMORRRRRRRRROWWWWWWWW

wooh.
so
point is.
ice cream <3
made by maya <33
with jake... not so much the <3's
but still.
it'll be nice to hang out with him before he leaves


any who.
hoping that one's not awkward.
it could turn out to be the worst outting of my life

so yeah
i'm officially afraid of short people
i thought it just bothered me a little
but it's a full blown affliction

it's like they have a disease...
(BTW TAYLOR YOU STILL BELONG IN THE TALL CATAGORY)

like honestly, if i was stuck in a room with midgets
i would probably die
even people under five foot are bad
like 4'11" girls
fucking 7 year old children
babies in cribs

all fucking diseased

ugh
there was this 6 year old girl at the CPD today
and she seriously walked past and i was like
"STAND THE FUCK UP, GIRL"

get some stilts or something, freak.

and that

Is how you wrestle a bear.






Bayside - Winters


Mclovin.

Goodnight.

Lazy days, galangalangalang now

Purple haze, galangalangalang now.



maybe it wasn't a very exciting summer.
but as it starts to hit 60 degrees, i'm realizing it was a good summer.


sometimes sitting at home talking to people from half way across the country can be just what you need.
I didn't overdose on people. it was nice.
it was chill.
it was the start of my new, nice chill life..

and i'm damn happy about it.

She's cold and she's cruel

But she knows what she's doing




socontroversiall: maybe you hear this alot
socontroversiall: but i'm kind of intimidated by how fucking confident you come off





i'm glad i'm making an impression on people at my new school.
but i'm not sure if that's the one i wanted...

well, whatever, hopefully it'll weed out the weak ones.
you know i don't like them.
and hopefully it will keep the freshmeat outta my way.

ahhh, already back to my ice queen days.





.... and when we're done you get the fuck outta my car.

why do you always kick me when i'm high

Knock me down till we see eye to eye.




I'm content, satisfied, whatever.
it was a good week.
I love band geeks.

not all band geeks.
but hershey band geeks, yes.

I like dancing in the middle of the street.
and spitting mad beats.

I'm Closing your blinds

I'm shutting your eyes.
now i'm afraid i have to go.


i am BEAT.


i need to sleep but i can't for another few hours.

good night.
come see my marching band exhibition tomorrow
6pm at hershey high schooooooool!


yeah, i miss the fam more than anything.
it's redic.

You can say that you don't miss me

I think about you everyday.




uhm. fuck. sleep.
i'm less than half way done with my summer school, and my dad wants to mail it this afternoon?

uhm..... yeah.. not happening. good night.

Represent Yo Shit, Motha Fucka.

I have friends at my new school
I love them already.
I'm SIKED

except i like when plans work, holler.
and obnoxiously white teeth.
I love those.... too much.

i'm going to go take an ice bath and sleepppppppp



GOODNIGHTLOVERSSSSS

I wish I was a little bit taller

I wish I was a baller.


some things I'd like to get off my chest..

1. you wanna know why we're not sleeping together? honestly, I'm a freak and I know you can't handle me.

2. you can't have a "sex song" if you've never had sex, capishe?


so i'm making a baller playlist.
and then listening to it and doing 8 chapters of chem work, WOOOOH
psyche, but really, i'm going to stay up all day and get work done, and hopefully crash before 10.
so i can get up at 8 on monday.... WOOOH.
another psyche.

i'm gonna miss being nocturnal... :[

dear fam,
sorry i'm not going to be able to talk to you for about a week,
but i'm gonna be BEAT every night.
and i'll miss you, i promise..
and tay, since you're the only one who reads this,
i don't know what was wrong today,
but if you need me, call, seriously, anytime, i'm here.

I love you fam<3

You've got everybody talking

You've got everybody acting crazy.




seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I have back tourettes.
just kidding, but it's really being the spazmaster.


I should probably write meaningful things in here, but i just woke up, and it's not really coming


to do list:
dig up my camelback from the basement
deposit all my birthday checks
buy clif bars and fruit
GET MY EFFING PERMIT.
finish my summerschool work.
memorize all my drumline music.
work on rumbaclave steps.

oh yeah, exciting week


Tuesday TIJ show.
Friday- TAE & kingsfoil show.

It's not the same without you around.

Let the record show...
I love Mates of State.



I'm going to sleep early for once, if you can call 2 AM early..
ehh, word.


I got an 80 gig iPod today, I'm pretty siked.


goodnight :]

I'm all tied up, and I'm trying my best to get down

Come on girl, Come around come around.
I've waited up all night just to see you move.


God damn... I have a song stuck in my head,
but i can't figure out what it is, please help.




Today was amazing, I missed my biffs sooo much...
so we wrote a rap today... we're going to film a music video.
It should be up within the month....
It's fucking siq!

So I'm really siked for the rest of this summer, and the new school.
But I'm really going to miss them.
I mean, as soon as I told people I was moving 15 minutes away, They acted like I was going to die.
They were really upset for about 4 hours, then stopped talking to me.
It fucking sucks.
But I've got still got my favorites.
and my fam who doesn't care about distance. :]


so yeah. i'm nervous. shit


on the bright side

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... and the Dark Lord will mark him as equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!

So kiss me goodbye.

Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive.

I'm going to model for the rest of my life.
I'm going to sing for the rest of my life.
I'm going to be someone's rockstar.
I promise I'll make it.
And I'm not going to be a dick about it :]

I promise to never look down on myself.
and to enjoy my talent.


too bad this summers mix isn't the same as last summer :[

Cobra Starship- Bring It
The Rocket Summer - Brat Pack
Marc Cohn - Walkin' In Memphis
The Starting Line - Best of Me
Wilson Pickett - Mustang Sally
The Maine - The Way We Talk
Death Cab For Cutie - Passenger Seat
Incubus - Aqueous Transmission
Something Corporate - Ruthless
Danger Is My Middle Name - Revenge on the Radio
All Time Low - Jasey Rae.
so far..........



oh and you know, the fam tree is pretty amazing.

Tell me that you're all right.

Happy birthday... me.
:]

It's starting off well.
with calls from my favs.
and marriage proposals

If you're looking for love, baby put your hands up.

Yes, It's possible to love more than one person at once.
The Fam knows it.

oh and



meeting people on the internet, creepy right?
nah, i love them

Oh Word?

I want someone who can put their chin on my head when we hug.
That's all I want.



birrrrrrrrrthday this week.
holler.