Monday, August 25, 2008

so many nights spent with you in the beginning

It takes a while getting used to having nothing

i don't think you understand how much i miss my best friend
i mean, i saw her saturday.
but really.
i'm so used to seeing her in between every class

Sunday, August 24, 2008

With balled up fists

Take steady aim.

Last officially night of summer
tomorrow night i get to "get to bed early"
and then "wake up and go to school"
and fuck
i start at hershey monday.
i'm a little freaked.

tonight was awesome
i missed my bffs sooooo much
but it was great seeing them
it feels horrible to know i'll never see them at school again.
never write
"I can do whatever I want, I'm Spiderman"
on the inside of lockers
never leave eachother peanut butter banana sandwiches as presents
never completely ignore the teachers together.
never pass my classes with 65s and 100s on the final
i officially have to work the hardest i ever have.
but there are some perks.
so ehhhhhhhhhh

and now i'm going to bed.


Friday, August 22, 2008

This is where we both get scared

And this is where emotions flare.


mwhahahaha i winnnnnnnnnnnnnn :]

so it's 1:20ish
and i have to be at the school at 8:30
plus shower.
i love sleep
i want chinese food
i'm rambling.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Faithless is he who says fairwell when the road darkens

Rather let me fail, than never to have tried at all.
Come what may, nothing short of death will see me cry defeat.

Rule every moment. Seize every day.
By storm. By the throat. With every breath I take.

It's not what you can not do, it's what they told you, you can not do;
so, fire your gun into the mouth of doubt.

Let the masses dictate themselves.
I am not now theirs, nor will I ever be.
They wont crush my hopes.
They cannot smash my dreams.

I am not inspired by men without faith.
I am not deterred by events that cause the average man to break.

Rule every moment. Seize every day.

Monday, August 18, 2008

she screams she screams my name at night

she's oh so sexual.

and a completely different topic.

these are the parts of my body where i have surface bruising
my knees
my thighs [some left over from drumline]
my hips
my entire pelvis.
my stomach
my ribs
my elbows
my entire upper arms/shoulders

these are where i have internal bruising
my ribs [front and back]
my neck
my spine
my shoulders

i feel like i'm drowning when i breathe
due to spinal trauma

i'm nauseas 24/7
and i have migraine type headaches constantly

i was shot in the hand with a bbgun,
so i can't feel the last 3 fingers on my dominant hand.

this sucks ass

dear slip-n-slide fuck you
dear rocks under slip-n-slide fuck you even more
dear erika who thinks really big dives make slip-n-slides more awesome. motherfucking fuck you.

this week is going to fucking suck.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Drop the girl

She'd sink lower than a body in the Hudson could ever do.

What really grinds my gears:
-When people try to look seductive in pictures. mostly 11-17 year old girls
-When people re-upload pictures instead of going into their profile picture folder and hitting "make default"
-When people walk away from their computer in the middle of the conversation
-Useless half-socks.
-Not being able to figure out who people remind me of.
-"hey" "hey" "whats up?" "oh nothing, you?" "nothing"
-bitches and ho's
-when schools don't have habitat for humanity because "not enough people sign up"
-when people that i thought i knew the best are assholes.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

It's King Vs. Queen

Which side are you taking?

In all this chaos we found safety.

it's 10:30 pm.

and i'm tired as shit.
i'm going to go memorize the rest of my music and sleep

shopping tomorrow at 9 am!?!?

ayesha and clairrreee


then show with maya.
back here for the night
target with sarena and then her birthday party <3

The 70's called... they want their lamp back.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

wanna be a baller, shot caller

Twenty inch blades on the Impala

so yeah
i'm in a rambling mood

all the McLovins at my new school
are really fucking bold with their hitting on me.
it's unsettling

i'm a lurker, i pretty much know everything about everyone at my new school already
props to Maya for all that info in such a short time

speaking of


point is.
ice cream <3
made by maya <33
with jake... not so much the <3's
but still.
it'll be nice to hang out with him before he leaves

any who.
hoping that one's not awkward.
it could turn out to be the worst outting of my life

so yeah
i'm officially afraid of short people
i thought it just bothered me a little
but it's a full blown affliction

it's like they have a disease...

like honestly, if i was stuck in a room with midgets
i would probably die
even people under five foot are bad
like 4'11" girls
fucking 7 year old children
babies in cribs

all fucking diseased

there was this 6 year old girl at the CPD today
and she seriously walked past and i was like

get some stilts or something, freak.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

and that

Is how you wrestle a bear.

Bayside - Winters



Monday, August 11, 2008

Lazy days, galangalangalang now

Purple haze, galangalangalang now.

maybe it wasn't a very exciting summer.
but as it starts to hit 60 degrees, i'm realizing it was a good summer.

sometimes sitting at home talking to people from half way across the country can be just what you need.
I didn't overdose on people. it was nice.
it was chill.
it was the start of my new, nice chill life..

and i'm damn happy about it.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

She's cold and she's cruel

But she knows what she's doing

socontroversiall: maybe you hear this alot
socontroversiall: but i'm kind of intimidated by how fucking confident you come off

i'm glad i'm making an impression on people at my new school.
but i'm not sure if that's the one i wanted...

well, whatever, hopefully it'll weed out the weak ones.
you know i don't like them.
and hopefully it will keep the freshmeat outta my way.

ahhh, already back to my ice queen days.

.... and when we're done you get the fuck outta my car.

Friday, August 8, 2008

why do you always kick me when i'm high

Knock me down till we see eye to eye.

I'm content, satisfied, whatever.
it was a good week.
I love band geeks.

not all band geeks.
but hershey band geeks, yes.

I like dancing in the middle of the street.
and spitting mad beats.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

I'm Closing your blinds

I'm shutting your eyes.
now i'm afraid i have to go.

i am BEAT.

i need to sleep but i can't for another few hours.

good night.
come see my marching band exhibition tomorrow
6pm at hershey high schooooooool!

yeah, i miss the fam more than anything.
it's redic.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

You can say that you don't miss me

I think about you everyday.

uhm. fuck. sleep.
i'm less than half way done with my summer school, and my dad wants to mail it this afternoon?

uhm..... yeah.. not happening. good night.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Represent Yo Shit, Motha Fucka.

I have friends at my new school
I love them already.

except i like when plans work, holler.
and obnoxiously white teeth.
I love those.... too much.

i'm going to go take an ice bath and sleepppppppp


Sunday, August 3, 2008

I wish I was a little bit taller

I wish I was a baller.

some things I'd like to get off my chest..

1. you wanna know why we're not sleeping together? honestly, I'm a freak and I know you can't handle me.

2. you can't have a "sex song" if you've never had sex, capishe?

so i'm making a baller playlist.
and then listening to it and doing 8 chapters of chem work, WOOOOH
psyche, but really, i'm going to stay up all day and get work done, and hopefully crash before 10.
so i can get up at 8 on monday.... WOOOH.
another psyche.

i'm gonna miss being nocturnal... :[

dear fam,
sorry i'm not going to be able to talk to you for about a week,
but i'm gonna be BEAT every night.
and i'll miss you, i promise..
and tay, since you're the only one who reads this,
i don't know what was wrong today,
but if you need me, call, seriously, anytime, i'm here.

I love you fam<3

Saturday, August 2, 2008

You've got everybody talking

You've got everybody acting crazy.


I have back tourettes.
just kidding, but it's really being the spazmaster.

I should probably write meaningful things in here, but i just woke up, and it's not really coming

to do list:
dig up my camelback from the basement
deposit all my birthday checks
buy clif bars and fruit
finish my summerschool work.
memorize all my drumline music.
work on rumbaclave steps.

oh yeah, exciting week

Tuesday TIJ show.
Friday- TAE & kingsfoil show.

Friday, August 1, 2008

It's not the same without you around.

Let the record show...
I love Mates of State.

I'm going to sleep early for once, if you can call 2 AM early..
ehh, word.

I got an 80 gig iPod today, I'm pretty siked.

goodnight :]